


Dark On Me

by EpiKatt



Series: James 'n MacCready [5]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Memory Alteration, Mental Instability, Psychological Trauma, Sickfic, Supernatural Elements, Torture, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 22:31:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpiKatt/pseuds/EpiKatt
Summary: After going through Dunwich Borers, James and MacCready start feeling a little under the weather.





	Dark On Me

**Author's Note:**

> This took me entirely too long. Three months.  
I'm proud to say this is my longest posted thing so far. I hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> (Btw, the writing is a bit shaky at first but I'm pretty sure it gets better)
> 
> Title is Starset song 'Dark On Me'. Check it out.
> 
> Mostly Beta'ed.

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The first 'flashback' makes James stumble backwards, pupils dilating and body stiffening. He comes back to moments later and stared at the space where the apparition was.

He blinks, quickly turning to MacCready who had the same stunned look like him. "Do you wanna keep going?" He asks carefully.

MacCready clears his throat and nods tightly. On they went.

Turning into a cavernous room, another one came over them. This time showing people kneeling in front of some sort of altar. When the vision flashes out, they were less surprised and kept going. Now in the middle of the floor, there was a large pit full of water.

James stood on the edge, peering into the murk with his headlamp, it barely penetrating the darkness within. "Ominous," James remarks, kicking a rock into it.

"No sh- uh- crap," MacCready stutters with a sneer.

James looks over at the other man curiously. He doesn't mention the censoring, deciding to let MacCready discuss on his own time.

"Let's loot what's left then head out," The taller man declares, tromping back into the hallway, power armor creaking. MacCready stares after him with a twitchy lip before jogging after him. When was he gonna get some power armor?

After deciding they had found all they could, the duo left the freaky rumbling quarry and returned to the surface.

James squints upon exiting, the white walls and high noon sun were both equally blinding. His eyes took about a minute to adjust before he runs for the stairs up, steps causing dust and salt to stir on the ground.

_ What next?  _ He wonders, clanging up the rickety steps with MacCready on his six.

_ Hm… Preston wants me to check around The Castle, Charlie wants me to clean his water pipes… or something. Maybe we could check out the Combat Zone, seems easy enough. Maybe I'll find something cool. _

Once reaching the top, James waits a moment for an out of breath MacCready to catch up, rifle slung over his back while he clutches the strap. 

James watches, amused. "Need any help?" He asks innocently.

"Oh f- buzz off!" He snaps, taking off his hat and snapping James' shoulder with it. James throws his head back and laughs loudly, trotting off toward Sanctuary.

"Hey! Get back here you asshole!" MacCready yells, running after him weakly. 

**___**

Two weeks later and James' stomach has been hurting and MacCready made an offhand comment about his too, once or twice. 

Currently, they are laying in a bed in the Rexford Hotel, down to their underwear to try and survive the heat.  _ Maybe that's why our stomachs hurt.  _

"Is this awkward?" James asks eventually, Diamond City radio flickering in the background in a drawer. 

MacCready snorts. "Obviously, but I'm too hot to care. What temp does your pipboy say?"

"One 'o nine right now," He groans. 

"It's only noon!" Exclaims MacCready with a whine.

It's silent for a while, both of them simmering. 

"Any purified water?" MacCready eventually works up the courage to ask.

"Some, why? Without ice, the water would be warm at this point," James points out.

MacCready grimaces and flops his head back onto the mattress. "Fu-frick," He growls.

"Points for effort," He says cheerfully, "If we live," he adds distractedly.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," MacCready sighs.

"You're welcome," He responds with a smug grin.

"You're lucky you gave me caps," He mutters disdainfully, rolling onto his stomach with a grunt.

"You're lucky I like your company," Replies James, looking over.

"Fair enough," MacCready murmurs.

"James?" He asks after an hour or so of silence, besides the wind blowing through the curtains with a soft  _ whoosh. _

"Yeah?"

"Could you.. possibly.. help me?" Asks the sniper nervously.

"Depends," Comes the muffled response. 

"You know the uh. The Gunners I was talking to when you met me?"

"..yeah?"

"I need your help to possibly. Kill them? Don't get me wrong, I'm  _ great,  _ but not a whole Gunner camp great. Which is where you come in, if you uh... could," He explains quickly, a drop of sweat dripping down his face. He wasn't sure whether it was from the heat or from the stress.

"Why are you anxious? Of course I'll help, MacCready! You're my favorite companion! Besides Dogmeat, of course," James says with an easy grin.

MacCready let out an unsteady breath. "Thank- uh- thank you. I'll mark their location on your map."

James holds his arm up, pipboy to MacCready so he can mark the area the overpass is.

"Don't be afraid to ask me for help, Mac. Except now, because now I'm going to attempt to sleep," He declares, turning onto his side, facing the wall and tried to sleep.

MacCready huffs but decides to try the same.

In the end, they both fall asleep.

**___**

It's probably another three days until they get to finding Winlock and Barnes. James has noticed a small intermittent tremor in his hands, not enough to throw off his aim too much thankfully. MacCready's stomach has just been giving him a bit more trouble.  _ Maybe we caught a bug?  _ James ponders. 

The two of then easily dispatch of the Gunner base, leaving Winlock and Barnes for last so MacCready could kill them execution style. James tried not to notice the sadistic grin on the other man's face. He knew he had the same look killing Raiders.

Since dusk was gathering on the horizon, the two of them decide to make camp in the rickety shed on the outskirts of the camp. James takes the loot and gets out of his power armor, falling onto the dirty mattress and bouncing with a pleased snort. MacCready rolls his eyes and climbs into the sleeping bag on the other side of the small room.

MacCready quickly snaps up a moment later, remembering something. "James. I um.. I could never thank you for what you've done for me. This has helped a lot. In gratitude, I'm willing to give you the original two hundred 'n fifty caps you gave me. It's not much but… it's all I have," He says softly. He neglects to mention the soldier in his pocket, the sick son on his mind. 

"MacCready… you don't have to," James says carefully.

"I-I know. But- I want to. So, um. Here. Take them before I change my mind," MacCready says, handing over the caps with an internal flinch. 

James seems to notice the internal battle but says nothing. A man's pride was everything, after all.

MacCready runs his thumb along the little soldier gently to remember.

**___**

Another two weeks and James' eyes can't focus for long. He blames the radiation. 

MacCready remained silent about the splitting headache that was just behind his eyes and at his temples at all hours of the day. Some nights. Most nights.

At that point, MacCready had told James about his son, the man agreeing to help with no hesitation. MacCready was silently grateful.

Even now they were making their way to Med-Tek Research, rats scurrying in the gutters and kicking down trash and making them both jumpy.

They soon made it, James pulling out his explosive shotgun - _ and where the hell did he get that majestic piece of beauty?-  _ and begun eliminating the ghouls in groups of twos and threes. That thing had some kick.

In no time they were strutting through the front doors and terminating everything in sight. MacCready was feeling a feral (haha. No) sort of glee. Each shot like a hit of psycho to his veins. Each death pure exultation.

Down down down down they went. The adrenaline was thrumming through his veins. He knew the cure was here. He could  _ feel  _ it.

James walked over to the terminal and opened the door. A green glow emanated inside before they realized it was one of the glowing bastards. James went straight for that one while MacCready took out the three other normal ghouls sprinting at them, before focusing his attentions to the glowing mass of ugly.

He cocks his gun and pulls the bolt back and fired, a loud  _ crack  _ filling the air before doing it again. And again. Until finally James dispatched of it by lopping its head off with a sword.  _ Where the f-reak did he get something as ridiculous as that?  _

They stood there panting heavily. Blood dripped down James' face and MacCready could feel a bite on his forearm that he knew he'd have to stimpack later, lest he wants an infection. 

He walks to the counter and shakily picks up the vial labeled  _ Prevent. _

The soldier in his pocket sits, waiting patiently.

_ Soon,  _ he thinks, putting his hand on top of the pocket and looking at James who was busy fulfilling his weird addiction of combing through random drawers and cabinets.

_ Soon. _

** _____ **

MacCready just heard back from Duncan, his son’s writing poor handwriting, but it was unmistakably him. He clutched the paper to his chest with a bright grin.  _ His son was gonna be fine! _

MacCready didn't pretend not to notice the envy in James' eyes, knowing the other man was jealous about his son. James just awkwardly patted him on the back before quickly leaving.

By then, they were back in Sanctuary and Dogmeat was barking at some birds outside.

He sucked in a quick breath through clenched teeth as a burning pulse of fire ran through his skull. His vision flickered and he could only hear the muted  _ thump  _ of his heartbeat. He slowly backed into a wall and slid to the ground, panting quietly as the pain escalated. It felt like someone shoved a needle right into his brain.

It was nigh on ten minutes before the pain receded. He looked down and noticed Dogmeat's head on his thigh while the dog whined quietly, gently licking MacCready's offered hand.

"Hey, boy. D'you want some radstag meat?" He asks roughly, petting Dogmeats head. He got another insistent whine and MacCready took that as a yes.  _ What the f- hell was that pain?  _ He wonders while slowly digging through their things. He didn't even attempt to censor. For some reason, all his muscles ached; so he ended up walking like an arthritic old man.

Eventually, he does find some old radstag jerky and tosses it to the excited dog; getting an excited yip in return.

He slowly meanders into the living room and falls onto the couch with a low groan.  _ Why have we both been hurting? This is so.. odd. I've heard James muttering about a headache and some stomach pains, so it isn't just me. Did we both catch something? _

Dogmeat happily trots inside and hops onto the couch. MacCready smiles slightly and starts petting the furry giant. The dog let his tongue flop out and he growled at a fly as it passed.

"Doofus," He mutters with a grin. Dogmeat wags his tail harder.

_ Maybe it's just a bug or something.. I'll be fine, no need to mention this to James. He's already angry at me.. _

…

It's probably a few more hours before James walks back inside and stalks to his room. MacCready jolts awake and frowns at his retreating form. "Where've you been?"

James stops in the hallway entrance and sighs loudly. "The Vault."

MacCready realizes this meant he was there to see Nora. He swallows and nods, embarrassed for asking. James just walks into his room and shuts the door.

Realizing the man you had… feelings for had feelings for someone else was never easy. But to MacCready this felt like a crushing blow. He took in a quiet breath and continued to pet Dogmeat.

His soldier might have to be a little more patient.

**___**

James finds Shaun.

James now refuses to be near MacCready or even travel with him now because all he sees is that MacCready has a son and he doesn't. He's started taking Preston with him.

Those splitting headaches, or whatever they were, have been getting worse. His memory was deteriorating and the pain was getting worse. MacCready often woke up and found himself sitting in a kitchen chair and staring into nothing. He was beginning to feel scared. Dogmeat has been his only constant as of late. He's heard James talking with Preston about brief pains in his chest, but by how he spoke about it, MacCready knew it wasn't as excruciating as his head.

Even now, MacCready can't remember where James had gone. He frowned and went outside to ask Sturges before being told he'd gone to Diamond City with Preston to get some things for building.

"MacCready, are you doin' okay? You've been a lil' outta it lately" Sturges asks with a concerned look.

MacCready blinks a little, glancing at Dogmeat who was panting on his porch. He'd recently moved to the outskirts of the settlement, since James basically kicked him out.

"Yeah, 'course I'm fine. Why would you ask?" MacCready says with a frown.  _ What were they talking about again? _

Sturges didn't look convinced but hesitantly nodded. "If you say so.."

"Sturges, I'm completely fine, don't worry about me," MacCready assures.  _ Why wouldn't he be fine. The headaches! Of course. But how would he know? Is he a synth..? _

Sturges sighs before walking away. MacCready frowns at him in confusion.  _ Whatever. He didn't even stop to talk. _

**___**

MacCready opened his eyes and squinted at the sun.  _ Oh, that's right. I must have forgotten to eat.. _

He gets up off the ground and shuffles into the kitchen and digs through the cabinets before finding some mutt chops. He sent a guilty look toward where Dogmeat was sleeping before eating some.

Soon James comes barreling inside the house, a look of fury on his face that was so fierce it left MacCready frightened, but muted and more diluted than it should have been.

"Where are my fusion cores, MacCready?" He demands lowly.

MacCready frowns as his mind slowly processes the words. "Why would you ask me?" He asks slowly.

"Because Sturges told me he saw you leaving my house with a bag, and now my fusion cores are gone. Now either give them back or I'll search your house until I find them," Growls James.

"I.. I don't have them I swear!" MacCready was hurt. Didn't James trust him?

"Let me check," James mutters and pushes past MacCready to go looking.

Less than five minutes later and James comes back with  _ murder  _ on his face and tosses down a bag of fusion cores.

"Didn't have them, eh? MacCready, I thought you were better than this! But obviously not. I can't trust you anymore. Get out of my settlement." James looks almost…  _ sad,  _ while saying these things.

Even through the haze, MacCready felt overwhelming despair crash over him. After all he'd done?

"James, please," He says quietly, face pleading.

"Get out," He orders, gaze steely.

MacCready quickly gathers his things while James watches. He walks outside and out the front gate while settlers watched. There was a shout and then a bark before Dogmeat was beside him. Obviously he was as angry at James as MacCready was.

He smiles dumbly and pets Dogmeat. "Good boy."

**___**

MacCready was holed up in the Red Rocket near Sanctuary, he couldn't go much further. He felt… empty.

Dogmeat licks his hand with a quiet whine. He was curled up on the ground with his head between his knees. His head felt like it was being crushed, his eyes burned. Something was… wrong, but he couldn't quite grasp the feeling of terror and anguish for long. It came in fits, all weak.

"C'mon, Dogmeat.. we have to keep going before James comes after us," He murmurs.

Pulling himself up took more energy than he wanted, but he was soon walking out; a mindless walk  _ onward. _

He walks until dark, even though it doesn't register it's dark so he keeps going.

All of a sudden the sound of Dogmeat growling snapped him out of his mindless walk. Before he realized it someone knocked a gun against his temple. He fell down, vision flickering and severely dazed.

When he finally came to, he realized he was being dragged. He blinks and doesn't see Dogmeat, so he hopes the mutt had gotten away. MacCready's eyes slid shut in their own accord before he could fully grasp what was happening.

The last time he comes to he feels something pointy around his neck. He immediately stands straighter, the collar, because that's what it is, became looser and it gave him the chance to feel blood dripping down his neck.

He looks around carefully and saw that the sun was just coming up. Slowly looking up, he sees a  _ leash  _ attached to a pole at the top from his collar. The collar itself that short sharp spikes lining the inside that cut him should be get too close.

It's already getting warm, sweat was running down his face. He squints and coughs quietly, his convulsing throat catching on a spike and making him flinch.

He hangs there for what feels like hours, which actually might be by the sun's journey up. Soon enough he finally sees who caught him and isn't surprised to see Raiders.

They laugh and walk up to him, breaths smelling of rot and booze and making him flinch again. "Looky what we got here, guys. What should we do with him? Seems out of it already, how about we just speed up his death?" One asks, gripping his pipe pistol with a wicked grin. The apparent leader looks at him with a frown. 

"Let's leave him here, but tighten the collar and raise the leash. Let's have him control his own death, it'll be fun. Especially since it looks like it'll be a hot day," The leader says with a sly grin.

MacCready glares weakly at her, dull fury coursing through him. Enough to get the adrenaline going. They agree and quickly tighten the collar and make sure his hands are tied well. Then lastly, they lift the leash up until he's standing right on the tips of his toes, body straining.

He manages an hour before one of his headaches come on and he cringes, body stiffening. He tries his best to stay up, but soon he collapses with a grunt and cries out at the feeling of the spikes digging into his neck. The blood starts pouring and the headache only gets worse, causing him to let out tears of pain.

The moment the headache fades he straightens up again.

He does eventually fade out, barely existing. By evening, he's covered in sweat and shivering from exhaustion and dehydration. 

When he hears a bark in the distance, he thinks it's his mind playing tricks so he doesn't react. But he hears the sound of gunfire close. Too close. He looks around, eyes wide.

He sees flashes of light come from the forest and hopes that they'll just kill him.

A few minutes later he sees James coming toward him in power armor.

The most emotion he's felt in weeks erupts in his chest at the sight of the other man.

"James.." He says weakly as he's closer.

"MacCready, I leave you alone for a day and this happens to you," He says gently with a smile. 

MacCready just smiles slightly before sighing when he's released from the collar, collapsing onto the ground with a grunt. 

James whistles and Dogmeat trots forward, blood staining his muzzle.

"Water?" He asks quietly.

"Oh fuck right, um, here," James stutters, digging through his bag before handing a can to MacCready. He wastes no time and gulps it all down and finishes it with a gasp.

"Why'd you come after me?" He asks, voice a little stronger.

"Dogmeat kinda dragged me here," He says nervously.

"Oh.."

It's silent for a minute before MacCready speaks up again. "Hey, can you um. Help me up?"

"Oh, sure yeah," James says and grasps MacCready's arm and pulls him up, the other man stumbling into the metal armor with a wince. 

"Here, take this stimpack," The older man says carefully, handing it to MacCready, the sniper's hands shaking dangerously.

Right before he was going to insert the stimpack, that searing pain reappeared in his skull and MacCready immediately collapsed again. His mouth was open in a wordless shout, a strangled noise of pain escaping his throat; red flashes spiking across his vision.

"James," He gasps, voice cracking while desperately grabbing for James' arm, not realizing that the man had stepped out of his armor.

"I've got you, don't worry I've got you," He murmurs, running a hand through MacCready's hair raggedly.

As soon as the pain fades and his vision clears, he locks onto James in a moment of clarity. "Something- something is wrong. Something is very wrong," He grits out.

James looks at him concerned, "Yeah I'd think so. What the fuck just happened?"

"I've been," He takes a ragged breath, "I've been having bad headaches, stomach aches, loss of memory. I've woken up in places I don't remember going, woken up halfway through a conversation and not knowing what it was about," He grinds out, sounding a little scared. 

"I've had something similar and it.." James trails off, face unsure. "It started after we went to Dunwich, the quarry. It all started there."

"You're right but.. how do we fix it? It's just been getting worse," MacCready mumbles, distractedly looking for his hat that fell off.. somewhere.

James doesn't say anything for a few minutes, doubtlessly thinking of something. "D'you see my hat anywhere?" The sniper eventually asks.

The other man snorts and looks around, focusing on something and standing to retrieve e it. "Here you go, MacCready," He says smugly, tossing it at the younger man.

"Oh uh, thanks," He stutters, putting it on his head carefully.

"How's your head? Think you can walk?" James asks.

MacCready rubs his jaw thoughtfully for a moment. "Might as well try. You have a plan yet?"

"This seems right up the alley for a nice visit to the Dream Den, wouldn't you say?"

"You think Irma can do something?"

"I mean, she can look into your memories, wouldn't put it past her to fix something like this. Might as well try," He says with a shrug.

"Alright. Give me a hand then we can be on our way. How far to Goodneighbor?"

"About three hours, shouldn't take too long," James replies.

MacCready opens his mouth to reply when his face goes slack and his eyes glaze over and just stands there.

"Mac? You alright?" He asks cautiously. Still nothing.

He stands there for about ten minutes before MacCready blinks and his gaze focuses. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

James had a straight up worried look on his face. "We need to get you to Goodneighbor, you're deteriorating fast," He explains, quickly getting into his power armor.

MacCready only squinted in confusion. "What?"

James shakes his head with a slight growl of frustration. "Nevermind. We're going to Goodneighbor, just follow me," Came James' tinny voice from the suit's speakers.

"Yeah, just tell me what we're doing when we get there at least," Was his reply. James just frowns and set off toward Goodneighbor, Dogmeat scouting the way ahead with MacCready following doggedly at his side. 

Occasionally, MacCready would slow down and James would have to make sure he was alright before continuing. Going through Boston was the most difficult part; it'd been a while since he'd been through so some of the resident super mutants have come back, along with their cousins for some extra fun.

Finally, just before dawn they arrive, stumbling through the front entrance with several amused onlookers.

"Had a bit too much to drink, eh MacCready?" Daisy asks with a laugh from her shop. James didn't have the patience to correct her and just dragged the barely responsive man to the other side of Goodneighbor; the Dream Den.

The moment James is able he tosses MacCready into one of the seat.. things and heads toward Irma.

"What seems to be the problem?" She asks amiably.

"MacCready and I have something messing with our heads and we need it gone," He says bluntly, eyes hard.

Irma sighs and leans back in her chair. "I'd suggest laying off the Jet then, fella," She says tiredly.

James is just annoyed at the moment. "We're clean, we went into Dunwich and since then, we've both been having problems. His memory has been going. We'd hoped you'd be able to help, look in our memories and delete something that may have snuck in.. like a virus," He explains harshly.

Her face perks up in interest. "That.. might actually work. Hop in a seat, I'll see what I can do, alright?"

James simply nods, climbing out of his power armor and falling into one of the chairs, looking at the staticy screen; anxiously waiting.

"Mac, you alright over there?" James calls out, worried.

"I'm.. not sure, boss," Was the bleary reply. It sounded like MacCready wasn't quite aware of where he was.

"Alright, both of you hang tight. I'm turning on the machines and am going to comb through both of your memories to find the source. Once I've done so, I'm going to try and neutralize the memory, and if that doesn't work I'll erase it. Just for your information, I've never done this before so don't like, shoot me if it doesn't work," Irma explains, looking up over her station to see them.

"Okay Irma, go ahead. And last thing, you think it'll hurt?"

"Oh most definitely," She replies, flipping the switch. If James didn't know better, he'd think her voice was filled with glee.

There's a sucking sensation pressing in on him before he closes his eyes. When he next opens them, he sees MacCready beside him while looking at versions of themselves.

They both look around, quickly realizing they were in the quarry right before they started getting the visions.

Suddenly Irma's voice comes from all around them. "This is right before I started seeing some odd readings with your brains. Just follow yourselves and I'll try my best," She instructs.

"Yes ma'am," MacCready replies with a grin. His head was the clearest it had been in  _ weeks  _ and it felt  _ fantastic.  _

"You seem more like yourself, I'm assuming all the negative effects don't affect us in here," James notes, eyeing their twins as they keep going.

The real two glance at each other and step after them.

"Yeah, seems so. Feels like there was sopping wet wool over my brain, like occasionally when the water dried out they'd pour more on me and I'd black out for a few minutes." He shudders slightly. "I really hope she fixes this. I really don't want to go back to that."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," The older man assures. Their other selves had just frozen from the vision.

MacCready just hums. "Am I allowed to travel with you after this? You do know I didn't know I was stealing those fusion cores, right?"

"What? Oh fuck, that. Yeah Mac, come back. I'm not mad anymore, I know something was wrong with you. Don't look so surprised, I may seem rough but I can admit when I'm wrong," James sniffs, looking away from MacCready. 

They stay silent for a while, walking with their memory-selves.

"I'm getting small bits of what's been interfering with your heads but nothing big enough yet to cause this damage. Did you guys get near anything suspicious here?" Irma soon asks.

"Uh. Did we?" James asks with a crooked grin.

MacCready sighs and rolls his eyes. "Remember that super irradiated pool? Maybe something was down there," He suggests, somehow tripping on a rock. He frowns down at it. James just tried not to snort.

"Possibly," He concedes, stepping over the rock with dramatic care, letting a chuckle slip out at MacCready's bemused face.

"How much longer to that memory?" Irma asks impatiently. 

"I dunno.. another five minutes? Give or take," James says with a shrug.

There was a very loud sigh from above them and the two men just grinned at each other.

They continue to walk in silence, sensing a very odd energy from ahead of them. It made James shiver and MacCready clench his teeth. 

"We seem to be getting close. Brace yourselves, this may hurt," She warns.

The two (four?) of them enter the room, well, cavern really, and look around. 

"More evil than I remember," MacCready remarks.

"I think it looks the same," James hums.

They watch themselves bicker around the water for a moment before being  _ slammed  _ with a horrible feeling. MacCready actually stumbles.

"Alright boys, here we go!"

James and MacCready barely heard her, bodies tense and fighting off the pain from the feeling and from what Irma was doing.

It felt like hours before the feeling left, and even longer before the pain receded. The two men stood up shakily, both unaware of when they had fallen.

"So that was fun," James says, breaking the silence and clapping his hands together.

MacCready frowned and rubbed his stubble thoughtfully. 

"Irma, can you pull us out now? We want to make sure," James calls, looking up, even though it doesn't make a difference.

"Here we go in… three… two…"

James snaps awake, pulling in a ragged gasp and sits up, looking around frantically. He vaguely hears MacCready doing the same. Slowly, calming down, he mentally assesses his self. After a moment, he decided he feels lighter and altogether.. better.

He looks over at MacCready, eyebrow raised in question. "All better, boss," The sniper says hoarsely. 

"Great. Awesome. Irma, we lookin' good?" James asks with a smirk.

Irma rolls her eyes and glares at the man. "Your brain looks back to normal. Now, three hundred caps," She says sweetly.

James groans and climbs out of the chair with stiff legs before walking over to her and reluctantly handing over the caps.

"Pleasure doing business, boys. Do come back."

James just turns around and helps MacCready out of the chair. The man was still a little hurt from his skirmish with the raiders and he was obviously exhausted. As was James, if he was going to be honest.

"Let's head to the Rexford for the night and then we can go back to Sanctuary, alright?" James suggests while letting MacCready lean on him on their way out.

"Sounds like a plan, boss," He mutters, concentrating on walking.

They soon make it inside and James pays the lady hurriedly and then they make the journey upstairs and eventually into their room. One they're both lying down and trying to sleep does James realize he left his power armor with Amelia. He just hopes she doesn't try to pawn it.

James glances over at the sound of MacCready snoring and smiles tiredly. He observes the other man carefully, tracing his stubbled cheeks and the lines on his face. A man ahead of his years if there ever was one.

Swallowing, he leans forward and kisses his forehead gently before rolling over to fall asleep.

____

The next few weeks are spent about the way they were before the whole Duniwch ordeal albeit with them making sure the other was okay.

MacCready was travelling with James and Dogmeat again and he can't say how much he missed it. Missed the feeling of adrenaline rushing through his blood, the feeling of boredom while James searches through a whole abandoned building for random things. Most of all really, was that he missed James. Without that… parasite, in his head, he was finally able to acknowledge the quietly building attraction to James and  _ shove it right down where it belongs.  _

Currently, they were in some water treatment plant trying to fix it… or something. The mirelurks weren't really helping and finding a position to shoot at them was difficult. Every time he backed up he risked slipping on  _ something  _ and falling on his ass. At least James wasn't faring better, were MacCready's distracted thoughts. The man was sliding a little with each step he took and grabbed onto a slimy handrail to keep from falling. His face at touching the slime made MacCready snort quietly before looking down his sights and finally,  _ finally  _ killing the last mirelurk between them and the blasted button.

"This is your part, I do so believe, boss," He calls, motioning toward the button with the end of his rifle. James grinned and ran toward it, sliding on purpose before almost immediately slamming into the wall beside the button.

MacCready's mouth was hanging open and it took about two seconds to process what just happened before he covered his mouth to stifle his laughter.

James slowly peeled himself away from the wall and frowned down at his slime-covered clothes before turning to glare at a still laughing MacCready. His face just made him laugh harder.

"Haha, laugh it up," He huffs, flipping up the glass case and pressing the button in annoyance.

"Now let's go get our reward," He says cheerfully, walking toward MacCready. Since he was still distracted laughing, he didn't notice when James shoved him to the ground and right into a pile of mirelurk shit. He sat there in the cold gross sticky pile in utter surprise before scrambling after a wheezing James and shoving him with an annoyed huff. "Jerk."

James just tipped his head back and laughed on the way out.

Later that night they both found a barely working shower and scrubbed everything off. Separately, of course. MacCready wasn't disappointed. Maybe a little. 

His pining was only getting worse.

___

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MacCready had just gotten a letter back from Duncan, saying how he was healed and how much he missed his daddy. MacCready had stared at it with the absolute biggest grin on his face, second only to when Duncan was born.

He quickly thanked Daisy and ran outside, wanting to find James. A few minutes later he finds him down in the Third Rail arguing with Charlie and drinking a very old whiskey. Well, they were all very old at this point.

Plopping down and ordering a whiskey too, he turns to James with another grin.

"What's got you in such a good mood? A lady ask you for a night of fun?" He questions with waggly eyebrows.

MacCready rolls his eyes and shifts uncomfortably at that. "Er, Duncan sent me a letter. Said he was all better now," He says excitedly, grabbing the whiskey and taking a sip to mask the happy tears.

"Seriously? That's great news, Mac," He says happily.

"Now, I was wondering if I could bring him here, maybe put him in Sanctuary, seems to be the safest place," He suggests, taking another sip before setting it down. James' face didn't exactly inspire positive thoughts at the moment.

"What? Why couldn't I?"

"Don't you think it's a bit soon to bring him? I mean, you've told me he's so little, and being sick that long would have to make him weak still. The roads aren't safe enough," James says lowly, leaning toward MacCready. 

His eyes flash in anger and he leans back, not wanting to fuel his lustful thoughts while trying to engage his angry ones.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do with my son. I haven't seen him in over a year and I know for a fact that he'd be safer here. So whether you agree or not, he's coming," He says harshly in a quiet voice, not wanting to attract attention. He quickly snatches his drink and drains it before standing and stalking out. 

He sulks in the hotel and reads comic books before James comes back, just on this side of buzzed. "I'm bringing him, you can't stop me," MacCready says matter-of-factly. He glances up to see James frowning. It's only a few moments before the man is stripping down to get in bed. MacCready sighs and scoots closer to the wall.

James falls into the bed and stares at the ceiling like he was trying to decipher it.

"You alright?" He asks wearily.

"I'm just thinking about whether to do something or not," James replies.

"Alright. I'm gonna go to sleep then," He declares and rolls over and closes his eyes.

Not five minutes later he's being woken up by James rolling him back onto his back by his shoulder. "I've made a decision," He says strongly.

"Did you have to wake me up?" MacCready grouses, looking at James with narrowed eyes.

"Yes, you'll see."

"Well, show me then. I'm tired," MacCready says in annoyance. 

James just grins and leans down and kisses him so suddenly MacCready didn't have time to see him, much less react. The other man tastes like whiskey and the faint tang of something, probably ate something irradiated, were his distracted observations. Once he understood what was happening he kissed back eagerly, beyond relieved that James initiated it and not him.

The other man pulls away with a satisfied grin. "Ah. Good then. Night!" He says cheerfully and goes onto his side to fall asleep. MacCready just blinks and stares at the spot James had just been. He licks his lips and curls up and closes his eyes. He hopes that that wasn't a one off. He'll ask again when they're in Sanctuary tomorrow, he decides. After he gives Daisy a letter, of course.

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**Author's Note:**

> Enjoyed it? I hope so. I pulled it out of my soul kicking and screaming.


End file.
